Recurring monthly events:
MAsT: Raleigh - 3rd Sunday
MORDOR/smart - 2nd Wednesday

June:
24, CAPEX

July:
13, Everett Leather Social - slave ravyn
15, OTK (Over Thirty Kinksters - presenting)
22, TLC (Triangle Leather Club) Leather Run
27-30, SEAL (SouthEastern Alliance of Leather) Tally Master and slave

August:
24-27, FPE (Florida Power Exchange) - Master IceDog
25, Round table discussion on Mentoring led by Master Roy & Alphaboy Jeff - slave ravyn

September:
8/31-9/4, Master slave Conference
8-9, South Carolina Pride in Leather
16, Q&A Before Play with Master IceDog, slave ravyn, and Lady Zara
23, Wingnut Stables Fall slave Hunt

October:
7, TMG (Triangle Munch Group) Fashion Show
20-21, Leather History Preservation Weekend

November:
4, Leather Formal Coursed Dinner
11-12, Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair (presenting)

December:
2, TMG Holiday Fair
15, MAsT Midlothian December Meeting (presenting)

January:
6, TMG First Saturday Munch (presenting)
26, Spanking Play Party (presenting)

February:
2-4, Sin in the City, Las Vegas, NV - Master IceDog
25, MAsT: Jacksonville NC (presenting)

March:
4, Charlotte Peer Group (presenting)
9-11, South Plains Leather Fest - International Master/slave Contest
17, Wingnut Stables (presenting)
25, YKW (presenting)

April:
5-8, Master slave Reflections
20-22, M/s Gathering (presenting)
27-30, Submissive Safe Haven (presenting)
29, YKW (presenting)

May:
3-6, North Carolina Leather Contest
11-14, Power Exchange Summit - Master IceDog
17-20, Frolicon (presenting)

June:
14-17, SELF 23

July:
20-22, Show Me Leather (presenting)

We have not even been home for 24 hours, and it is beginning to sink in. my Master and i are now a part of Leather history. It is an awesome and amazing responsibility that holds a special place in our hearts. The gravity of the decision that has been made by a wonderful group of judges, staff and board members of SELF, and all of those who were in attendance is one that we respect and appreciate. Being in a position to help model and carry-on what has been such an important part of our lives, and our community is something that we do not take lightly. Hearing the words of Sir Guy DeBrownsville and Angel Propps was powerful and will help guide us in our own personal growth.

My Master and i will now take all that we have learned on our journey thus far, as well as all that we will continue to learn as our adventure continues. All of the different opinions, and stories, and perspectives we will hear will become a piece of us. We will share this knowledge with anyone who is willing to listen. At SELF 22, we were able to make many new friends, and meet many new people, reconnect with some dear friends, and continue learning. Our title year has now begun, and we are excited to build many new connections and strengthen those that have been made in order to do our part in our community, and in carrying on what has come before us.

my Master and i have been serving our community through our involvement in local groups. These connections are constantly being strengthened, and will continue to be through the future. Our local community is near and dear to us. Now, as title holders, our goal is to extend our reach. How far can we go to share our message, and our knowledge? The possibilities are limitless. And, helping others to strengthen their connection while building our new ones is very empowering for everyone.

All of this is only possible because of Lady Catherine's encouragement, the amazing staff, volunteers, and board members of SELF, and a fabulous panel of judges including Sir David Labriola, Darcy, Tina, Boypup Max, and GearDog. It was truly an honor to meet each and every one of you, and all of those who were at SELF 22.

Master IceDog and slave ravyn
2017 SouthEast Master/slave

It seems as if SELF was only a few weeks ago. In fact, that amazing and life changing experience was held THREE MONTHS AGO. So much has happened since the day that we arrived in Atlanta. So many new connections have been made. So much learning, and sharing about ourselves, and others. my Master and i have said to each other over and over again that we cannot do all the things. Oh, how we want to, though. We want to share what we know, have learned, and are learning with anyone who will listen… to meet and connect with folks from all over, especially those we might not have had the chance to meet before. We want to encourage those who are unaware about Leather history to ask questions, do some research, learn from where it is that this piece of our community comes. As we meet new people who are not aware of the other pieces of the greater community, my Master and i seize the opportunity to expand their horizons, and share that their piece of the puzzle is only a piece. It is when we are all together, united, connected, accepting of each other - similarities and differences - that our community is whole.

One of the tidbits of advice that was shared with us even before we arrived at SELF to run for the title was to be sure to focus on each other. Remember what is important to my Master. And for my Master to remember what is important to His slave. Throughout every adventure and experience, we are in it together. We have had many opportunities to ensure that we put this into practice. The first time was when i travelled across the country for work to Seattle. Without my Master. This was not the first time i had travelled without Him. However, this was the first time, i was traveling as the 2017 SouthEast slave without my Master. Had there only been vanilla happenings in Seattle, this would have been no different than in the past. However, this time, i was going to attend my first Leather social. And, without my Master. We spoke to my gracious host, the 2017 Northwest Master, Kelly Chance, many times before i was to arrive. She was kind, supportive, understanding, and encouraging. She introduced me to her family, and shared some of who she is and who they are with me. She even supported my tourist tendencies taking me to the best places for pictures. Her slave and i connected almost immediately. Our excitement and energy was electric, and we had fun. All too soon, it was back to vanilla before finally returning home to share my experience and excitement with my Master.

Before long, it was His turn to experience being the 2017 SouthEast Master without His slave. Life happens, and responsibilities sometime keep us from participating in the fun things. Florida Power Exchange was one of these times. Wonderful friends from our community took Him down to Tampa with them. While still fulfilling their responsibilities, they also kept an eye out to ensure my Master’s needs were met (to some degree) - and His water bottle was full. Through these adventures, we were each able to witness, and, to some degree, experience what other Master/slave dynamics are. It helped to reinforce for us that what we have, and what we are doing works for us...well. And, also, that what works for us may very well not work for others. We knew this prior. We have shared this, and taught this very sentiment many times. Now, that concept was solidified. Even more than it had been. And, we appreciated our dynamic that much more.

Probably, one of the most enriching adventures of the past three months was attending the Master slave Conference. When my Master and i were at MsC last year, we knew that we would be back. Every year. The experience of being surrounded by those who really understand who you are, and what drives you to do what you do is unlike anything else. It is powerful, and comforting. It is supportive, and encouraging. It is empowering. This year, my Master and i not only re-experienced all of those feelings, we truly were coming home to a family reunion. Many of our SELF family were there. Possibly, our entire class for the International Master slave contest at South Plains was there. Friends we have not seen since last year's MsC were there. And, we shared many special moments with many special people. Together, we grew, as Master and slave, as well as individuals. We participated in research (yay!!!), and strengthened connections. my Master and i witnessed three other Master slave couples participating in the contest for the Northeast Master and slave titles. Welcome to the class. And, for those who did not receive the title, continue to do what you are doing to strengthen the community. We support you.

Coming home, back to our vanilla life, back to everyday helped us recognize how much we need each other, and our chosen family. After being immersed for so many days in such a powerful atmosphere, i yearned to find it again. i found comfort from my Master… from our House members… from our friends. We are in this together. We keep going… to so many of the things together. my Master and i are growing stronger together, everyday, learning more and more about ourselves as individuals and about us as a couple. We mess up. And we grow from those mess ups. We lead, we guide, we encourage, we teach, and we empower. And at the end of every day, we are there together… planning our next adventure.

Crazy. Busy. Months.

October through December is always a busy time of year. With typical family engagements, wrapping up work for the year, and your regular social parties, life is generally a hectic time during this season. A title year is no exception.

Looking over the calendar for this last quarter, I am reminded of just how much my slave and I have done in the last 3 months. I spent much of the Leather History Preservation Weekend without my slave, as she was attending a conference for work. There were many stories from historians talking about their different journeys, their backgrounds, the way things were and how they compare to now. When my slave finally joined me, just in time for the formal dinner, we had the extreme pleasure to hear Lady Catherine’s Keynote discussion on her journey -- as we know a rare occasion.

Ms. North Carolina Leather, Lady Zara, put on a High Protocol Coursed Formal Dinner for our area. We were happy to be able to participate, and support a fellow title holder from down the road. Soon after, we presented at the 3rd annual Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair in Myrtle Beach, SC. Our presentations gave an overview of our dynamic on a daily basis, and gave examples of ways we reconnect with each other in times of struggle, something we felt fitting for an audience with a wide variety of backgrounds and dynamics. We also held a discussion on titles, along with Lady Zara, to discuss what it means to run for a title, and why that is an important piece to our community - to be the representatives for those who are interested to learn, to carry the torch for another year, and hopefully to pass it along to another link in the chain.

Our travels took us north to Virginia, then south to Florida, and Atlanta. Presenting at MAsT: Midlothian gave us the opportunity to share our journey and learn about the journeys of others who are in this type of dynamic. During our winter break, I took my slave on a road trip in the south east, as we had the opportunity to spend some much needed time for each other. But of course we also made it a point to connect with community. We attended Whippersnappers in Atlanta to make ourselves available to the next generation in a different part of the country to talk about us, our journey, SELF, and the community as a whole.

From the events we have attended, and discussions with different community groups (big and small) in many areas, we have seen the need for continued education. Leather history and the Master/slave dynamic are not as widely understood and known as we had believed, which motivates us to get out and share even more. If you have an event or opportunity that you know about and would like us to participate, please let us know. We will do our best to be there. The more we can share and connect, the better.

2018. The start of the new year. Also the reminder that more than half a year has passed into our title year. While we could start thinking ‘it’s all downhill from here’, there is still plenty to be done.

We presented our ‘Living it Daily’ class to the Triangle Munch Group’s First Saturday Munch on January 6. TMG is where the first inclination to teach about our M/s dynamic and Leather lifestyle was suggested. It’s part of our history, and part of our journey. It felt like a homecoming, and truly giving back to the community, our local community.

Our patch sister, 2017 SouthEast Bootblack, Coco, posted on the book of faces about her having a spare registration and hotel to Sin in the City in Las Vegas, NV in the first week of February. We looked over the calendar, and next thing you know. I’m headed to Vegas. Being there for our other patch sister, 2016-2017 SouthEast Person of Leather, ABizzy, when she won 2018 International Person of Leather, was super special to me. SELF representing in Vegas!!

Once I was back in town, it was final preparation time for South Plains Leatherfest, as my slave and I were required, and honored, to run in the 2018 International Master/slave Contest.

First let me give a shout out to two very special groups that helped in our preparations: MAsT Jacksonville and the Charlotte Peer Group (affiliated with CAPEX). Both of these groups not only supported us by giving us the time to rehearse our introductions, classes, and speeches, but helped our travel fund by raising donations at their event. This was extremely helpful for us and our responsibilities, both for travel, and for being the best representatives we can be.

On a very special note, part of our class came from a suggestion from a particular slave who was very quiet and still working to let her voice be heard. Her suggestion fit perfectly into our message.

As it turns out, we picked an excellent year to run. It was the 20th anniversary of South Plains. Our 2018 class was and is an amazing group of people, and the support we gave each other during the stressful contest truly made us a family.

Starting with our intro, we made it our own. 18, the numerical value for the Hebrew word Chai, meaning `Life`, as heard in `to Life`, or `L’Chaim`, and finally `L’Chaim, y’all`. The audience loved it. Then, we picked our contestant number. I’m the leader of the dynamic, so I chose to pick it. We were the 4th to go on stage. The two numbers left were #1 and #4. I picked Contestant Pair #1.

I knew regardless of what number we picked, we would do well. But, being the first to go each time adds pressure. For each round of the contest, I will be the first to speak, since I lead the dynamic. But I looked at it differently, as best I could anyway, because I needed to see it in the best light. Our time in the spotlight was very much like jumping right in, feet first. Why not be the first ones to go each round? That helped, mostly, and we will not only live with but embrace the results.

After the first part was over, we went to the cigar area. We brought Shabbat candles with us and performed the lighting ceremony while she said the blessing. Then we met and talked with Master TC, and enjoyed some much needed downtime. We were able to connect with others in a more relaxed environment. Then, sleep. (Yeah, right).

Next up: Interviews. Ohh, the interviews. Stressful? Well, initially, yes. Walking in to answer questions, yes, on the surface, that is threatening, stressful. But, this was a discussion about ourselves and our dynamic, what we do and what works for us. Just trying to keep answers short is the challenge. But overall, it was good, and we felt very comfortable afterwards. We even knew much about the Leather history when asked, because we were able to read up on it in `Our Lives, Our History`. No, we didn’t remember everything, but enough to show it’s in our brains, somewhere.

Next was the presentations. Our presentation on Failing Gracefully felt like we were home, having a conversation. Yes, it was a contest. Yes, it was timed. But it was us doing what we do, and the audience got it. We talked about turning failures into teachable moments. About how to be proactive and letting the negativity become something positive. To tell a better story.

Then, the speeches. Ahh, the speeches. We worked so hard on these, to attempt to give some sort of explanation on a topic in 2 minutes or less. My slave went after me. Hers was a great story. To lead people on the path of surrender in a guided storytelling format about something we love: motorcycles.

But the biggest challenge was my speech. I had it memorized weeks before. I had it memorized hours before. Back stage, I wasn’t feeling it. I couldn’t feel it. The meaning behind the message was lost. Maybe it was being backstage, not able to really practice because of the sound coming from the stage. But I got my head together to lead my slave back out onto the stage. She will follow. Back out into the spotlight.

Again, I’m the one to go first. I started strong. The words were happening. But very quickly, I forgot the structure to my speech. The connecting piece was gone. So I did damage control, to move forward. I said the part about Laura Antoniou, the humor section. I expected laughter. But I expected more. I didn’t hear it. That threw me off more. Then, it happened: I froze. I lost my path. The words stopped. Complete blankness. I lowered my head. Nothing. It felt like the scene in Carrie, right before the bucket of blood poured down on her head.

Then, I looked up, and like instinct, I looked to my right, because I knew my slave would be there. She told me the right word to say to help the course move forward. Vulnerability.

That’s why we are here, right? Vulnerability.

I found it inside to pull through, to recover, to move forward. To continue. To make it through. To finish strong. It was a great recovery.

Initially afterwards however, it was easy to go back to the same negative story: I failed. But I remembered our class from just earlier in the day, how to fail gracefully. After some time back stage, I realized (with the help of my slave of course) that this is what it is to live the dynamic 24/7. To fully trust in the other. To show vulnerability especially when times are tough. To lean on one another to get us through.

While we don’t have feedback yet, what this ‘failure’ showed was our dynamic in full force. No words could compare. Other than having scrapped the whole thing on the fly (like I did for SELF), we think overall the speech recovery might have been a good thing.

Lastly, pop questions. Yes, even after having a breakdown, and letting a fellow Master contestant console me, there was more to do. My question was, which International Master or slave helped you prepare for this contest? My answer was Master Bert Cutler, because he does the work with the Science of BDSM research team. That answer was easy for me. My slave’s question was if she could only go to one more feeder contest, other than your own, which would it be? Her answer, SWLC, because of the connection to spirituality. Perfect answer, I thought.

In the end, final results of the IMsC: The contestants from the NorthEast: Mister Blue and Blue Frost.

Master Jim said on stage that the top three contestant pairs were within 3 points. 

The question now is, does it matter?

We didn’t win the contest. But we achieved most of our main goals. We know that during this weekend, we presented ourselves in a way that the SouthEast can be proud. We worked hard to be as prepared as we could be. We taught a short class that turned longer because of the audience questions. Feedback from participants over the weekend was so positive. We were asked to teach a longer version of that class at another Conference, which is amazing because we do what we do for the education of others.

Yes, not being the 2018 IM/s titleholders stings. It hurts. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t. It probably will for a while. But my main goal was that win or lose, I wanted to walk away from the contest knowing we gave it our all. Also, and most importantly for me and my Mastery of my own emotions, that my self esteem and ego remained in check after losing this one contest.

I am an emotional person. I don’t try to hide it. I’m a better person for it. We aren’t Vulcans -- we are not stronger when we suppress our emotions. Instead, we need our emotions to experience life and all of life’s challenges. Most of my tears (and all of the public ones) were not tears of failure. They were tears from the emotional weekend, mostly because of the showing of support and feeling that we were amongst family, true family.

Master/slave relationships are hard work. Hard work for both of us. But times like these with the willingness to step up for myself and my mastery, for our M/s dynamic, and fit our community, this was to me, and my slave, a shining example of what the benefits are to what it is that we do, and why it is so special.

We have no regrets. We are not done teaching and representing -- check our calendar! We may never be ‘done’. Education and connections are so important, we will continue to do what we can to build up this community that we love so much.

These last few months have been intense. Since returning home from South Plains in March, we have been “on the go” all the time. (In fact, SELF22 last year, we have been on the go.) We have traveled near and far to meet new people, and visit with those we already knew. We have taught many classes, and shared many stories. Our lives have been changed even more in so many ways since our last column.

The biggest thing is learning to slow down. Not how much we do, rather, actually how we do it.  A minor injury caused a very fast-moving slave to decrease her speed. Considerably. Did that stop us from getting to all of our scheduled engagements? Nope. Did it cause the slave to lose motorcycle riding privileges? Yes, temporarily. Did it cause us to alter our schedule in any way? Nope. Well, sort of, actually. When we were walking anywhere, we did it at a much slower pace. Even when we were teaching, on occasion, we sat down. Does being slower matter in the grand scheme of things?

Our memories of the past year, thinking about what we’ve accomplished, fills our hearts and souls with love and respect for this community.  When we look back, we feel more than ever that our journey is far from over. This is reinforced at each event that we attend, during each class that we teach, at each group that we facilitate, and those we simply participate, and at night as we set our goals for the next day. From the mountains in Tennessee with all of the fellowship and reflecting, to the bonding at the submissive safe haven, to the frolicking in Atlanta complete with sharing a Jewish Shabbat and holiday meal, to the escapades in Ohio, to welcoming a new face to represent Leather in NC, and the gatherings away and here at home, each day has added to our adventure.

So, does it really matter if we are moving slower?  Other than the fact that our pace will determine how out of breath we are when we arrive?  Not really.  We continue moving forward. sometimes at a snail’s pace, and sometimes at a cheetah’s. We are excited to see what lies ahead waiting for us when we arrive, whenever we get there.

We have now stepped down from our title year.  We held the torch for a year, represented ourselves and our community. We have passed the torch, and the beautiful sashes, to Master Blue and slave sheri.  It is truly an amazing feeling to be part of this Leather legacy.

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