Embrace. Experience. Explore.
SELF is an educational, fundraising, and social convention that supports lifestyles and relationships of consenting adults. We are four days of exploration, invigoration, and conversation. We are a domestic non-profit. SELF is a four-day event where differing communities attend and generate something more than our individual selves or communities.

SELF provides a space to explore and strengthen your sense of many communities. We engage in alternative relationships, are LGBTQIA+, allies, advocates, and people pursuing free expression of our identities as individuals and within our relationships.

Brutal Passion Cross

Go home with Brutal Passions masterpieces!

We're going to have a great raffle at SELF this year.  What to take home a portable cross?  Rather have a portable spanking bench?  SELF has these goodies and we're going to have a dozen other raffle prizes from amazingly generous donors!

Get your tickets from contestants, registration, or the information table!  Prices for tickets are 1 ticket for $5, 4 tickets for $15 or 10 tickets for $30!

Make sure you join us on Sunday for dozens of raffle winners plus we'll do the drawing for the winners who brought virgins to SELF!!

We respect individual expression and choice of our many communities. CONNECT to explore your choices, your freedoms, yourSELF, your kinks, and your relationship preferences!
Reg and Jamal
SELF is the experience that opens your heart, expands your possibilities and creates more play.
SELF is looking for Virgins! You should too!
We love people new to BDSM and leather or just new to SELF! We’re ready to welcome them and have them join in our fun! SELF welcomes new people each year and this year we want all you SELF veterans to reach out and bring a virgin, or two, or twenty with you!

To encourage Virgin welcoming we’re sweetening the deal: Each virgin you bring who is registered for the full weekend of SELF will get you 1 entry into a drawing! More virgins = more chances to win! The winner will receive: 1 SELF basic package and two nights at the host hotel (a value of $500).

Virgin Raffle Rules

Keep an eye out for tidbits of Fun that you definitely don't want to miss!!

New to SELF?

My first memory of SELF is one of being terrified. The first time I walked through the hotel doors it felt like I had walked into a whole different world. See, in June of 2007 I had only been in the community for about 7 months and had only ever been to local munches and demos in my home area of SC. Several of my friends and I had gotten together and decided to go as a group. As the weekend got closer and closer I was both nervous and excited. What would it be like? Who would I meet?

The doors opened on a whole new experience for me. I had outfits planned out for every day. I had a big brother and a big sister to look after me. Or in my case, I had a big brother to hide behind while I got my feet wet. They introduced me to new people, they helped me pick classes that interested me, they took me into the vendor room and showed me more toys and gear than I had ever seen in my whole life. I saw bootblacks working in the stands for the first time. I watched my first contest. I explored. I met people who would change my life in ways that were beyond measure. By the end of the weekend I had found mySELF.

SELF changed my life. I found home. I found a family. But, to do all that, I had to take those first steps through the doors. I had to be willing to stretch and experience new things. I had to open up. For a kid from a small town in South Carolina, that was the scariest thing of all. See, I was comfortable in my small town group, with the people I knew and was close to. I had to be willing to fly.

SELF gave me wings but also a nest to return to. SELF is a weekend of classes, games, dungeons, and a kick ass contest among many other things. I have seen world class presenters, experienced play with many different types of people, played games, and stood on that stage during the contest and earned the right to represent SELF all over the country. I come back year after year to give back, because SELF gave me so much. I have taught classes, bootblacked, and volunteered at SELF for 10 years and counting. As long as SELF exists, I will be there.

Now, will your SELF journey be the same as mine? Maybe or maybe not. You may never find yourself standing on the stage or in front of a classroom of people. Maybe you will find yourself working at the registration table or working a security shift. Or maybe you will just come and attend SELF and enjoy classes and camaraderie. You might be that person standing outside the doors trying to work up the courage to walk in. Take the step. Trust me on this, what you will find on the other side of those doors will change your life. And if you are scared, come find me. I will be the big brother you can hide behind while you get your feet wet. I will introduce you to people, show you around, take you through the vendor room. Whatever it is you need to help you find yourSELF with us.

Boy Andy