Transformus: July 16-18, Ashville, NC (http://transformus.com)
Burningman: Sept 1-6, Black Rock Desert, NV (http://burningman.com)
Athens MAsT Sept. 17th
Alchemy: Sept 31-Oct 3,  Layfayette, Ga ( http://alchemyfestival.com)
Poly Family Weekend: Sept. 17- 19, Atlanta, Ga (http://www.polyfamilyweekend.org)
January 27, 2011- Whippersnappers Monthly Social @ Manuel's Tavern(Atlanta)
January 28, 2011 Fetish Fair Fleamarket- Spinning music live in the dungeon (Atlanta)
January 29, 2011 Feitsh Fair Fleamarket- providing music for the dungeon (Atlanta)
Febuary 19, 2011- The Mark (Frolicon's Studio 54 party)
Whispering Oaks Luau & BBQ  (Al, http://whisperingoakscamping.com/pricing--directions.html ) April 15th-17th)
Frolicon (Atlanta, Ga http://frolicon.com ) April 21st- 24th)
Euphoria (Cherokee Farms, Lafayette, GA) - June 17th-June 19th 
Transformus (Ashville, NC) - July 15-18th
Burning Man ( Black Rock City, NV)- Aug. 29th- Sept. 5th

i would like to tell you about my experiences this past weekend running for my very first leather title. As i started to write them down i realised that almost everything that happened last weekend including me deciding to run was because of my leather sister beth. i have many many people to thank and i will be thanking them forever for all of the things they did to support me this past weekend. But From the very beginning in my journey she has been there, she was even there the very first night when i was shown the fetish community.

i almost decided not to run because i am uncollared. i was afraid that maybe this was something i could not do on my own. What i learned was that i am not alone at all. From the moment i started working on my baskets she was there, she sent me the first donation that i received. She then went so far as helping me acquire a medical kit of one of my baskets because she knew i really wanted one in there. She read over my bio and my speech. She put me in touch with past contest winners for much needed advice. She also kept me level headed whenever i started to get overwhelmed by the whole experience.
When i arrived at the hotel Thursday night she was texting me and calling me to make sure i got in alright. She knew i needed to meet the judges Thursday night and that i was very very nervous. She continued with the kind words via phone before her plane trip and even on her way to the hotel. i felt her holding me together when i went to meet every single judge. i thought of her poise and grace and tried my very best to emulate it.  When i laid down to sleep that night i couldn't help but smile.

The next morning as i was eating breakfast and reading over my speech yet again, my phone range. It was beth checking to be sure i ate. She asked me to come to her room before i went to the first contestant meeting. When i came to her room she gave me a lovely little gift bag with a perfectly worded card. In the bag was a small gift box, inside that box was a beautiful leather braided bracelet with a silver engraved heart. On the heart it said "sister of my heart", on the back it said "Love, beth". i of course cried, I think if you clocked me over the weekend i cried on average about every twenty minutes or so. But this was the first time i cried over the weekend. i felt so honored to receive such an amazingly thoughtful gift. Over the weekend i drew so much strength from this bracelet. i looked at it every single time i was nervous, which was a whole lot.

She made sure i ate throughout the weekend. She even almost missed her meal Friday night trying to help me with last minute basket items. She gave of herself all weekend and asked for nothing in return. The basket auction was an up and down experience for me. When she saw me having a rough moment she came right over to hug me and check on me. A lot of people made sure i got through Friday night. i went to bed feeling a bit drained and shaky. i couldn't quite get to sleep, i realised my pants for my suit the next morning were still wrinkled. i struggled with the iron and they still didn't look right. Who was in my room ironing my pants at 2am? beth. She brought me cookies and calmed me right down.

But i woke up looking at my bracelet. i bounced out of bed 45 mins before my alarm went off and trust me i am not at all a morning person. i went to Starbucks and bought a ton of coffee and tried to eat some breakfast. All i could think about was the interview coming up. beth called to make sure i had my coffee and breakfast. She kept checking on me both before and after the interview. The interview was intimidating but an amazing experience. The questions really did make me think about why i was there. Even though i was nervous and I'm sure i stuttered a few times and had to restart and answer of two, i was so glad that i had gone through this experience. i left the interview completely unsure of how i did. Everyone else seemed to have an idea if they did well or not. i had honestly not a clue.

Beth helped pull me together yet again. She helped me herd the cats for my fantasy. OK, yes, seven people may have been a lot to add to a fantasy. But i am so thrilled that i did. She watched and told me how it looked from the crowd. Then she insisted that i go take a nap and get ready for the evening. i laid down for a bit. i might have slept a tiny bit but I'm not sure. i took a very nice bath which relaxed me. i then realised i wanted some warm food. Before i could even get dressed to go find some my phone rang and beth was ready to go find me some food. She went and found some incredibly tasty pizza which she shared with my roommates and i. It was such a nice little break before the evenings events. We laughed and relaxed and it felt amazing. She told me to make sure i was downstairs for the step down reception. So, i brought my things to the green room and then started being social for a little bit. My mind was of course on the evening ahead. But it was so very nice to talk to everyone and it was again a nice little break.

i was the first to give my introduction. i ended by saying "i am perfectly imperfect", because it was how i felt all weekend. When i walked back off the stage i felt a whole bunch of stress just walk away. Beth had send a lovely girl down to the green room to help her and i get me ready. They both helped me put on my corset and outfit for my speech. i then realised i had forgotten my ribbon for my hair for the snow white fantasy. beth went up and got it and ironed it for me. She was even back in time to watch my speech. Giving that speech was a break through moment for me. It was the one thing i was most afraid of. i knew what i wanted to say but i thought i would lose my place or not be able to get all the way through it. Before i walked onto the stage she hugged me. i looked at my bracelet when the mic cut out and kept calm as i was handed another. Looking out on the audience i couldn't focus on anyone person. i just began to speak. Everything that had been welling up in me over the weekend came out in that speech. i had moments of wondering if i should be here at all. When i finished my speech and i could see the faces i knew for the first time for sure that i was supposed to be there.

i was crying after my speech, but they were positive tears. beth pulled me right back together stripping me down and putting on my snow white outfit. i went from being an emotional wreck to being a tarty twisted little girl. My fantasy was so much fun! It went off better then i could have imagined. Also, i did not realize that after the fantasy they were going to bring me back up on stage and i was freaking out behind that apple at least a little. That fantasy tosses out all of the nervousness left in my body.

i honestly couldn't tell you what i said for my pop question answer. i think by this point i was on auto pilot. i remember it was a good question. But not much else. This was the fastest part of the evening for me. Before i knew it i was off stage and being dressed again. This was the point were the reality of everything hit me pretty hard. i was standing back stage with beth and it hit me that i had not won. i realised that i had put every part of my heart into this contest. Something in my mind said that might not be enough. i knew it meant a lot to me. But i don't think i realised how much until that very moment. i started to cry. It was at that moment that people started yelling for me from the stage. They said i had won. But i didn't believe them. i felt people pushing me to get out on stage. beth was smiling and laughing. i was still a wreck. i don't remember too much about being on stage at that point except we couldn't get the medallion's clasp to work. A lot of people took pictures and hugged me. i couldn't stop crying. i remember the smiles on the judges faces and the very sincere hugs they gave us all. Someone said welcome to the title family. For a moment i felt like i had been invited to sit at the adults table for the first time.

The rest of the night is a blur. i didn't have to worry about any of my things because beth brought them all to my room. She made sure i had a glass of wine and she hugged me and told me how proud of me she was. That meant more to me then anything. She also did yet again another amazing thing for me. She knew that i did not have a ticket to the breakfast the next morning. She worked her magic and made sure i had one

The final morning at SELF was truly an amazing one. The breakfast was wonderful. The speech that Master Larry and slave barb gave was so inspiring and beautiful. i would have missed it if it hadn't been for beth. Honestly, i would have missed this entire experience if it hadn't been for her. She is the one who told me i could do this. She is the one who held me when i cried. i am so very blessed to have her in my life.

So, this year as i hold my first title i am determined to make my sister proud. i am determined to make all of your proud. i will represent you to the absolute best of my abilities and i will not let you down.

The last couple months have been a whirlwind of activity. i have been doing exactly what i set out to do, which is take SELF and Bdsm education to places that it had not been before. i have been to Transformus, Burning Man and Alchemy. i have been helping lead discussions, working on teaching my first classes and holding masturbation parties.

This past weekend was Alchemy. It was amazing. i was able to wear my awesome vest with my Title Holder patch on it. It was fun answering questions about it and about SELF. One of my highlights in my vest was spinning fire fans for the first time! i was a part of Camp Fucking Awesome, a sex positive theme camp at Alchemy. We help sexual education classes, parties, a human potluck buffet and ofcourse one of my masturbation parties. i had a very unexpected and touching moment the morning after my masturbation party. There was a woman who had been to

the party, she had come to it because her husband has cancer and she has not had sex in close to two years. She approached me to tell me that she needed some tips on masturbation as she had never done it before. It made me want to cry. i hugged her and we talked about it for a while. It has made me realize that i would like to have some open

discussions about masturbation before these parties, as everyone does it differently and honestly you just cannot have enough education on so many subjects. It was a delight being around so many like minded people and meeting new people who had never been opened up to this world. i cannot get the smile off of my face!

i would love to do more with helping others and their events. So, i am looking for groups that need help with fundraising, classes, providing music etc. Please feel free to contact me at Ms.SELF2010@gmail.com if you have things you would like me to be a part of!

Looking back at 2010 i cannot help but smile. This year has been full of growing experiences
. i won my first title, this experience was so much more emotionally raw then i ever expected. i learned that pulling from my past, the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly, i can find inner strength and give myself a backbone. i have been expanding my choosen family and have been thrilled by the support, but have also been very happy that i am learning to stand on my own when i need to.
i went to my first Burningman and even played a little in the middle of the desert. i learned that even in the harshest environment you can find some truly lovely things. i also attended more regional burns and did my best to represent SELF at all of these events. Being a title holder has helped me find even more new people that hadnt found the scene yet.
My hopes for this year are that i can attend many more events and help represent SELF. i am looking forward to the new beginings that this year will bring.
Please contact me if you are looking for a volunteer for your events ( grunt, dj, speaker, demo bottom, etc). i still have plenty of space in my calendar for more events. Ms.SELF2010@gmail.com

The past few months have been busy and wonderful! I have had several great opportunities to do things as a title holder. I think I am starting to really understand what this title means to me.

               In February I had the chance to travel to Nashville for the Studio 54 party that was held at the Mark. The Frolicon crew put together a very fun event unlike anything I have ever been a part of. I spun disco music in a dungeon for many hours. At first I wasn’t sure how this would go. Disco is not the type of music you expect to play to. I was pleasantly surprised by how many people costumed for the event. I was even more surprised by how many people played to the music. I had one of the most surreal moments on my life that night: I was playing “I will survive”, six different scenes were taking place. I noticed at one point that all six scenes were in time to the music and at least two of the submissives/bottoms were mouthing the lyrics. It was truly a one of a kind sort of night, one I very much enjoyed being a part of.

               In March I was asked to present my first class at Whippersnappers here in Atlanta. I was very nervous. I always seem to be a demo bottom, never a presenter. I think that is my normal comfort zone. But I really wanted to try teaching a class. The class was on making scene music more a part of your scene. When I started talking my hands were sweaty and I felt my heart trying to beat out of my chest. I am pretty sure I was speaking a million miles a minute for most of my class. But people really seemed to enjoy it. I was asked a lot of very good questions and I hope to do more classes. After the class Whippersnappers did something really amazing for both Noel (Ms. Olympus Leather) and myself. They held a scene auction as a fundraiser for the two of us. I was so surprised by the generosity of this community. I feel so proud to be a part of it!

               This month was Atlanta Leather Pride. I went to the Eagle with Noel. I had never been before and must admit I was a little nervous. I have been to other leather bars and was not sure what it would be like. Honestly, I have never felt more welcome. I met some amazing people in and outside of the community. I got to dance and talk with lots of people. I unexpectedly ended up in a staple demo. I have to laugh a little. I am at the Eagle for just over and hour and here I am in my darth vader underoos and a bra stapled to a lovely boy! It was a truly wonderful night for me. I hope that this is the beginning of many nights at the Eagle. I also hope that I will get to participate in more leather events around Atlanta.

               As I write this I have a very large smile on my face. I have so many more things I want to fit into this year and I am truly looking forward to all of them!

Email: ms.self2010@gmail.com