“What an amazing ride! The support and love from our community was humbling, to say the least. Thank you so much.”
Jennifer: Ms. SouthEast LeatherFest 2015
Jennifer calls Monroe, NC her home. Some people use the labels kinky, poly, bisexual switch to define themselves however she prefers energy whore and how your energy relates to hers determines which hat you get. In addition to being a full patch member of Appalachian Women of Leather, supporting many leather clubs and events and raising money for various organizations, most of her free time is spent presenting on her two favorite mediums, blood and rope, or chilling out with family and friends.
2018 Update:
You know those platitudes that we all hate: everything happens for a reason or when one door closes, another one opens... they suck hearing when you are going through things but hindsite, they are absolutely true.
So my life for the last two years has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster and yet for each bad/sad/ughhh event amazing things happened.
My heart was broken and yet.. I finally embraced some hard truths and started working on hugging my inner child. That work prepared me for a war I had no idea I was going to fight. It also gave me the opportunity to be alone for the first time in a very long time and to focus on me and my wants and needs and what I want my future to look like and so I am extremely grateful for the end.
I finished phase A of school and thought I would get a job and just settle for my year off. Wrong. I was recruited heavily for two very different positions that I loved for different reasons and as opposed to choosing, I took both. Truth serum: I am more afraid of success than failure and tend to turn my own damn light off because mediocre and failure are old sweaters(hard truths embraced, I am an ACOA). I was very successful in both and just recently gave up the a.m. job because: school starts in May!
My sperm donor decided to get clean. It became a war trying to get him the benefits he deserved. Through the 7 months I gave my inner child her voice and allowed her something most people don't get the opportunity for: I spoke my truths and while they fell on deaf ears more healing occurred. I spent 7 months advocating for a man I don't really like as a human because of my fundamental beliefs and realized exactly how much of a badass warrior I actually am. He is safe in his forever home and my mirror is clean.
So what is in store for me?
I start a bridge program in May so in 14 months I will be a RN.
I still do a little volunteering here and there though my events are limited due to work and school. IMsLBB to support Tig, SELF and ABW are probably the only certain ones I am attending this year.
My kid graduates and heads off to school.
I have a potential...maybe.. ya know..
The doors closed, the windows opened.
Still I rise.
Jennifer
Ms SELF 2015
Some of her accomplishments include:
a. She marched in 3 pride parades: Savannah, GA, Columbia, SC, and NYC, NY
b. She organized and developed 1 personal fundraiser: Carnival of Madness: a Night of Burlesque and raised $2,340.
c. She co-organized 3 fundraisers with her club, Appalachian Women of Leather to support suicide prevention, the AIDS walk Charlotte and Time Out Youth to raise almost $3,000
d. She attended 4 fundraisers, 7 regional events, 4 runs, and too many bar nights to count.
e. She taught in multiple states: NC, Maryland, New York, South Carolina, Virginia, Colorado, California, Texax Louisiana, Tennessee to name a few
f. She was interviewed by Kinky Cast podcast
g. She traveled close to 30,000 miles
Calendar of Events
June 20 House of Khoas Kinky Kamping.. teaching bloodplay
June 27th Augusta Pride marching with SRALL
June 28th Sponsoring Bratting 101 by The MightyOne Gastonia, NC
July 4 Bar Night Woodshed Lounge Charlotte, NC
July 10th-12th TLC Stars and Stripes 25th anniversary run Sponsoring Women Play Space Friday Night
July 31-August 2 W.I.L.L Dallas, Tx volunteering and running around
August 8th There Will Be Blood Asheville, NC
August 14-16 Southeast Black and Blue Atlanta Georgia
September 26 Foreplay: Nothing but Rope Richmond Virginia
October 2-4 LHC Greensboro, NC
October 31 RSVP Fundraiser Baton Rouge, LA
Feb 26-29 Charleston, SC Low Country Leather's Inagural Run
March 4-5 Nashville, TN Switching in Dynamics MAsT- Nashville The Mark
March 19 Baton Rouge, LA RSVP: There Will Be Blood
April 2 Charlotte, NC AWOL Bar Night
April 7- 10 Denver, Co Colorado Leatherfest: Switching in Dynamics and Protocols, Directives, Rituals Made Easy
April 14- 17 San Jose, CA IMsL: Foreplay: Nothing But Rope
April 29- May 1 Charlotte, NC Tradesmen Run/ NCLC
June 3 Atlanta Eagle: SE ONYX and Onyx Pearls bar night
June 11 Columbia: Columbia Leather Order inaugural run
June 16-20 Winston Salem, NC: Debauchary
June 24-26 NYC: PRIDE, marching with Lesbian Sex Mafia and friends
July 8-9 Philidelphia Mr. Friendly fundraiserJuly 15 NYC Lesbian Sex Mafia(LSM) Foreplay: Nothing But Rope
August 4-8 Women International Leather Legacay(WILL) Event Staff, Foreplay: Nothing But Rope
2015 Video of Jennifer's Fantasy
June 2016 Column
This quarter has been so completely nonstop that I wouldn't know where to start with the recap so this blog is going to be about the feels.
It took six months for me to seriously consider running for a title. Never underestimate the power of a boy nor his persistence....
My reasons for running were simple: there is an influx of women coming in to this thing that we do and there is little to nothing offered to support those who don't fit in to the neat little boxes and SELF is home.
Once I won I started taking off my social masks and allowing a peek in to what my leather looks like outloud. I joked the other day that my quarters have a theme party, fundraising, educating and community service so even if I was confused about my time zones, I was consistent in upholding my personal code.
It wasn't until December until I actually felt like I was a titleholder and April before I finally accepted that while it looked different from what I thought it was going to be, I was helping/connecting with women.
I had the honor of tieing someone who had a very bad experience with rope and wanted it back after foregoing the activity she enjoyed most for a few years. The moment my hand grabbed her hair to pull her in for the first length of rope our energy synced and as the last length came off and the tears flew freely from her I knew the price of admission was worth the ride.
This last weekend I was home in North Carolina for my charity event: Carnival of Madness: A Night of Burlesque. This event is my heart and it's 4th time was a smashing success. A lot of old timers came out to support and the constant theme was: you have changed with no real definitive answers as to how. Yet, the last year has changed me. I became less rigid, have taken more risks, opened up more, loved easier, and allowed all of that to be seen. In doing so, I have been able to see people I may have overlooked in my travels before.
I feel like I grew up in my 30s, my 20s when I should have been doing that were spent busy with other stuff. My final year of this decade was spent enjoying all that I have learned.
Your title year is what you make of it, your growth is of your own choice, your success can only be measured by you alone. The answer to the question I asked 24 months ago is this: being a titleholder isn't necessary to do anything you want to in this community, however, it changes everything in ways that are not tangible and in ways you will never be able to vocalize. Take the risk.
My final quarter will be just as busy as the last 4, follow or friend me on facebook to see all that is in store....
March 2016 Column
I am in a hotel room just outside of New Orleans while writing this. I had the opportunity to head out to teach in Baton Rouge early so I brought my bio family along for the ride.
The last few months have been a juggling act of balance for me where I have worried about my partner's health, my family and if I am doing enough to help build my community. That is life though and I believe everyone struggles with all the things, being a titleholder doesn't make one immune from candles being burnt at both ends. With that in mind, I feel like I need to thank our producer publicly. Lady Catherine cares about us as a whole, not just the us that is going to events. I appreciate the energy you put in to making sure we are doing ok on and off the grid.
So, I spent most of January and February in Denver only making it to one event, but let me tell you the Virgina Knight Hawks and The Sanctuary sure do know how to do charity. I was quite impressed and can't wait to get back.
At the end of February I hit the ground running as I was late, late for a very important.... errr I went to LowCountryLeather's Inaugural Run Down The Rabbit Hole. It was great to be with my club, Appalachian Women of Leather. It was even better to win the first Club Fantasy Fight award, apparently a club full of "titleholders and such" were able to pick up that gauntlet that was thrown our way lol. I had a boi in service to me that weekend and that made the entire experience even better.
I headed off to Nashville, Tn after that and spent time with one of our SELF judges, slave krissy and ...and bootblack. We found the leather bar Friday night and got to meet some of the Conductors which was a lot of fun. I got to teach what I consider to be one of my most important classes, Switching and Dynamics. I love being able to shed some light on a topic that is often overlooked and it was so good to see the headnoddings in agreement as I talked.
SPLF has been on my bucket list forever and I wound up being able to head to Texas on a wing and a prayer where I got to interact with some of the most fantastic women and men on the planet. I was able to go to the women's cruise, watch the contest, and enjoy the celebration of power exchange dynamics.
I have a lot going on over the next couple of months that I am fantastically excited about.. stay tuned...
#nosleeptilaugust
Jan 2016 Column
This quarter has been pretty busy.
In October I did registration at the Leather History Conference with Scott. He is one of the kindest people I know and I always love working with him. Blue, Sheri and Holly were my roommates and together we put on a fantastic room party. LHC holds a special place in my heart because of the access to living history that it provides. Next year will be just as awesome.
I made a little drive to Baton Rouge at the end of the month and celebrated Halloween with RSVP and my sash siblings. RSVP is an education/playspace that supports SELF every year and is responsible for making our cigar parties epic! Halloween weekend is their big fundraiser so it was nice to give back and put our asses on the selling block. A huge shout out to Dutch who opened his heart and his home to us. I can't wait to get back.
I also had the opportunity to join Autumn and Timothy in Columbia for their PRIDE parade. We have come so far in our fight for equality and yet we have more work to do. Thank you Columbia Leather Order for making room for us and allowing us to carry the flags!
November starts the holidays for me and I tend to stick close to home and focus on that however I did get to sneak in bar night with my club, Appalachian Women of Leather, and what felt like half of the SELF family over at the Woodshed.
I also managed to roll out a new class at the LOFT. I have said this before but I will say it again: the love and support this place offers is second to none and if you ever get the opportunity to visit, do it.
I also got to go see Alabama kickass live. Friday, thank you for the gracious hospitality and for helping me impress my kid. Sir David, thank you for the restaurant recommendation. Both of you hold special places in my heart.
December saw me back in Baltimore for 12 Days. Thanks to my sash family for helping sponsor an event that is near and dear. It is amazing every year and this year was no different. Getting to meet Jill Carter who inspires my fundraising heart was sooooo amazing as well as being able to spend time with folks I am growing to love.The fact that titleholders started this charity and every year raise a lot of money for different charities and have for 17 years is pretty inspiring.
UPSTATE TNG was my last event of the year which is appropriate because making sure our younger people have access to good education and the opportunity to expand their skill sets is a passion of mine. Thank you for working with my crazy schedule Artemis. Thank you phoenix for going with me and being my bottom not even knowing what the topic was. I am grateful our paths have crossed.
Hope everybody had fantastic holidays. The new year is bringing me a lot of fantastic opportunities. I can't wait to share them with you.
October 2015 Column
This quarter has been very exciting as you can see from social media. I have gotten to present at various places, did an interview with kinkycast and popped a few event cherries.
One of my favorite things that happened was rebooting the Sisterhood of the Traveling Boots, which is the brainchild of Blue, at MsC. The idea is connecting women through a pair of boots. It is magical and good stuff happens. We have a facebook page. If you see us at an event make sure that you try them on and get your picture snapped! Thanks to feyrie, Blue, sheri for getting me to an event I have wanted to go to for years.
I also got to do a little sleepover with a few members of CLO at SRALL's run which fed my soul, I love those guys. Thank you Cissy Cat for opening your home, I am sorry Ms. Kitty got molested ;).
WILL was probably the most special time for me. I had the opportunity to not only serve the community but to also serve an individual. I got to sit in classes and get a few tricks to up my game. I got to listen to a roundtable of incredible women whose advocacy has made my path so much easier. I can't wait for next year. Thank you Master Trish and slave pat for the roomshare!
And finally, I was reminded why each one should teach one when a baby rigger was born during my Foreplay: Nothing But Rope class. We have the opportunity to start fires with our sparks, make sure you are sharing yours!
Life changes and mine definitely took a few unexpected turns this quarter. I am happy and excited and looking forward to the next few months.
July 2015 Column
This past month has been such a whirlwind. I have been so many places already and had so many great times it's just crazy. Right now I am staying pretty local and working my way out. I am awfully proud of the kink and leather scene in North Carolina. We have so many great groups and people involved. I love being able to give back because I remember a time when there wasn't quite such an eclectic mix around. I start venturing out at the end of next month.
So to recap where I have been
I taught a bloodplay class at House of Khoas Kinky Kampy in the foothills of NC. I can't wait to go back to a bonfire. This group was fantastically stellar.
I was at Augusta PRIDE the day after SCOTUS and I have to say that I have never been more proud to be a leatherwoman.
I hosted a demo called Bratting as a service in Gastonia, NC which was great, I can't wait to use those notes.
I was able to make it to TLC's bar night in Greensboro and to my home bar The Woodshed Lounge in Charlotte, NC for AWOL and The Tradesman's bar night. I love my brothers and sisters and am blessed to get to spend time with such great clubs.
I got to host Womenspace at TLC's 25th anniversary run. Those Tarheel's sure do know how to throw a party. I rocked the Slip'n'Slide and channeling Julia Roberts will always be one of my favorite memories.
I'm still working on getting my footing and figuring out what exactly I want my title year to look like, how to measure success with my goals and how to reach people and tell them about home. I am beyond honored and proud to be MS. SELF 2015...